Because if you're wondering what makes for "good sex," comparing it to an almost universally liked food is pretty much meaningless. And those change over time, through experience, and from partner to partner. That's why, no matter how long you've been knocking boots with your beau, no sexual experience-good or bad-is ever exactly the same. Truth is, good sex boils down to what is good for you and your partner s atm. That said and as you'll soon see , there are some general tenets of good sex: honest communication , mutual respect, and fun-across ages, sexual orientations, and relationship statuses. There is something so out-of-this-world good about having such a deep connection and love for someone else that your bodies sort of act as one during sex.
The best sex I ever had was in my college roommate's bed-oops-because a friend was in my bed and we were too horny to wait for her to leave.
It lasted so long, but neither of us were complaining. My roommate ended up walking in-again, oops-but the sex felt so good, we couldn't stop. It was unexpected and risky the best kind. To me, good sex is all about being present in the moment.
How to Be Good in Bed
But if I can toss in a few other adjectives, I'd have to go with curiosity and playfulness. Curiosity about exploring new things and being open to what that experience could be like.
And playfulness because I think most of us have the tendency to take sex way. I love when I can just let loose and be my goofball self in the bedroom. What I've realized is that safety and communication are paramount for me. With my current partner, we spent months talking before we actually even had sex. I had never done this before-I was very much like, 'Let's do it ASAP'-but talking about my likes and dislikes for a while and trusting my partner means that I'm having the best sex I've ever had right now.
Even if you don't wanna wait that long, I feel like waiting a few dates and then talking about what you like in bed before having sex can be really hot. Weight Loss. Make this position even better by grinding your pelvis in a circular motion. Technique: Move to the edge of the bed and lie back with your head and shoulders on the floor as your partner straddles you.
The blood will rush to your head creating mind-blowing sensations upon orgasm. Benefits: This is the best sex position for people who are particularly sensitive along one side of the clitoris. Technique: Kneel on the floor with your mate lying on the edge of the bed. Raise one of their legs and ask them to support it by wrapping their hands around their hamstring just below the knee. With one hip raised, your partner will be able to add some movement to aid in your stroking or to help move you to the perfect spot.
Also try: Encourage your partner to wriggle a little to help you get the rhythm right. Hot tip: During oral sex, allow the knuckle of your finger to trail behind your tongue. The contrast between soft flesh of the tongue and hard bone of the finger will create a pleasing sensation.
For more oral pleasure positions, ck out Your Ultimate Guide to Oral Sex. Hot tip for her: Your partner can let you know the tongue pressure and technique they prefer by demonstrating with their mouth on your earlobe. Technique: Cowgirl is one of the best sex positions because it allows for a variety of interesting sights and sensations, and offers your partner the psychological advantage of taking charge of pace and depth of penetration. Alternate between shallow and deep thrusts.
Also try: Lie st to st, with your partner stretching their legs out on top of your legs. Your partner should brace their feet on the tops of yours and push off to create a rocking motion that will rub the vulva and clitoral area against your pubic bone for greater pleasure. Hot tip: It will be easier for your partner to climax if you stimulate them manually and orally until they're extremely aroused.
From the cowgirl position, have them squat over your face so you can pull off some oral stimulation. Technique: Sit on the edge of the bed or on a chair with your feet on the floor. Your mate turns away and backs up onto you, sitting between your legs.
They can ride back and forth by pushing off the chair arms or pressing up with their feet. They can control the angle of entry by arching their back and pressing their buttocks into your groin. While doggy style is about your dominance, The Hot Seat puts your partner in the driver's seat. And that makes it one of the best sex positions for both of you. Also try: Your partner can reach under and stimulate the base of your penis, scrotum, and perineum. Meanwhile, you can reach around and stimulate their nipples.
Technique: This is a variation on the Hot Seat with your partner sitting in your lap, but this time planting yourselves on top of a washing machine set at the highest agitator cycle. Benefits: Good hand holds for your partner, and you don't have to wait until reaching the bedroom. Technique: This is a variation on the Hot Seat with your partner sitting on top of you while you sit on one of the stairs of a staircase. Stairs offer good seating possibilities, and a hand rail for extra support and lifting leverage for them.
Benefits: With a pillow under your head, you get an awesome view of your mate's backside. They can control depth of penetration and pace with this sex position.
Technique: Lie on your back with your legs outstretd.
Your partner kneels next to you, then turns and spreads their legs, straddling your hips and facing your feet. Kneeling, your partner lowers down onto your penis and begins riding you. Also try: Have your partner lean forward or back to change the angle of the penis for greater stimulation. Hot tip for her: From this position, your partner can easily reach down to touch themselves or direct your penis to where it feels best.
Benefits: Dual stimulation for your partner; for you-a great view of their rear and your penis entering them. Technique: Lie on your back and bend one of your legs, keeping the other outstretd.
Your partner straddles the raised leg with a thigh on either side and lowers themselves onto your member so that their back is facing you. They should hold your knee and use it for support as they rock up and down. Also try: They can press their vulva hard against your upper thigh rubbing as the feeling dictates. Hot tip for her: From Pole Position, your partner can massage your raised leg during the action. Or reach down and touch your perineum.
Technique: Place pillows behind your back and sit on the bed with legs outstretd. Your partner straddles your waist, feet on the bed. They then bends their knees to lower themselves onto you, using one hand to direct your penis in. Just by pressing on the balls of their feet and releasing, they can raise and lower themselves on your shaft as slowly or quickly as they please.
Also try: From this position, you both lie back into the Spider position or its more challenging variation, The X. Benefits: This sex position is the piece de resistance for partners who prefer a strong, upward stroking motion. Technique: Place a pillow under their hips to tilt their pelvis up. Bend their knees so they can place their feet on your shoulder blades.
Also try: Amplify your oral efforts with a simple sleight-of-hand trick: While you lap away, try using your hands to push gently upward on their abdomen, stretching their skin away from their pubic bone, and helping to coax the head of the clitoris out from beneath the hood.
Hot tip: Let your tongue rest firmly and flat against the full length of the vaginal entrance, then have them move and grind against your tongue. Benefits: The ultimate sex position for oral on the go, use this to get your mate in the mood and help them cut loose.
Technique: Have your partner sit on a chair with their legs wide open. You take it from there.
To have a good sex
This is a good sex position for either beginning the slow build-up with loose, broad, strokes, or ending with strong suction. Your partner is able to easily guide you, and they're able to get a full view of you between her legs, which is a turn-on for many people. Also try: Switch to a swivel chair and turn it left and right as you hold your tongue stationary.
Hot tip: Insert your index and ring fingers and stroke in a "come hither" motion to wake up their G-spot using this sex position. With either your tongue or other hand, apply pressure to their pubic bone.
This dual stimulation executed just right will send your partner over the edge. Technique: Some people with vulvas find direct clitoral stimulation uncomfortable. Having your mate close their legs during oral sex may help.
Place your hand above their public mound applying light pressure, then rub your firm tongue on the area around the clitoris to add indirect stimulation. Hot tip: During oral sex allow the knuckle of your index finger of your free hand to trail behind your tongue. The contrast between the soft flesh of the tongue and hard bone of the finger will create a pleasing sensation.
Benefits: The deep penetration of doggy-style while face to face. Technique: Kneel and straddle their left leg while they're lying on their left side. Your partner will bend their right leg around the right side of your waist, which will give you access to enter their vagina. For many people with vulvas, rear entry hurts their backs. This sex position allows them to lounge comfortably while enjoying deep penetration. Also try: Manually stimulate them using your fingers.
Or withdraw your penis and, holding the shaft with your left hand, rub the head against their clitoris to bring them to the brink of orgasm.
You can reinsert when they want you back inside. Hot tip: Be gentle with the clitoris. It's more sensitive than your penis, so touch lightly at first.
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Some people even prefer gentle pressure around it rather than direct stimulation. Go soft, then increase speed and pressure. Hot tip for her: And ask them to direct you, faster, slower, lighter, harder. Technique: Have your partner perch their butt right on the edge of the bed. With you standing in front, you can enter them.
Tantric Sex. You could have four or five orgasms. She could have twelve. Learn More. Tea Bagging. Tea bagging is a sexual kink, and a darn good one at that. Learn More. Shower Sex 10 Ways to Upgrade Your Sex Life 1. Like yourself naked. Women who have the best sex lives feel good about their bodies, says Joy Davidson, Ph.D., a sex 2. Make the mind-body connection. Think about those moments in your life when you feel completely in tune with your . Swear off sex. It's "In order to have good sex, you need to communicate your wants, needs, and desires to your partner," says SKYN's sex and intimacy expert, Gigi
Then have them wrap their legs around you. From there, stand up-right, placing your hands around their back to support your partner. Since the position is strenuous, try doing it seconds before you and your partner are about to orgasm. Technique: Your partner lies on their back. You kneel between their legs and raise them, resting their calves over your shoulders. Rock them in a side-to-side and up-and-down motion to bring the head and shaft of your penis in direct contact with the front wall of their vagina.
Because this angle allows for deep penetration, thrust slowly at first avoid causing discomfort.
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Also try: Bring their legs down and have them place their feet on your st in front of your shoulders. This allows your partner to control the tempo and depth of thrusts. Hot tip: Notice your partner nearing orgasm. You do that by listening for their breath to become short and shallow.
Flushed skin and slightly engorged breasts also indicate they're nearing the peak of her arousal. Technique: This could be your next move after starting in The Flatiron sex position.
Entering your partner from behind, you'll be able to thrust deep so the tip of your penis tous their cervix, an often-neglected pleasure zone. But you should do this slowly and gently. Some people with vulvas find it painful.
Hot tip for her: They may be able to increase the intensity of your orgasm by pushing their pelvic floor muscles outward, as if trying to squeeze something out of their vagina. This causes the vaginal walls to lower, making the G-spot more accessible. Technique: Your partner lies face down on the bed, knees slightly bent and hips slightly raised. For comfort, and to increase the angle of their hips, they can place a pillow under their lower abs.
You enter them from behind and keep your weight off their body by propping yourself up with your arms. This position creates a snug fit, making you feel larger to your partner.
Also try: You'll last longer in this position if you switch to shallower thrusts and begin deep breathing. Hot tip: Less friction means less stimulation-and can help you last longer. Try using a very slippery silicon-based lubricant, which may allow you to thrust longer before reaching orgasm.
1) Good Sex Starts Before You Get Naked Colleen Singer, sex commentator and expert says that while most men have figured out that foreplay " Good sex is healthy for your body, passionate for your heart, and stimulating for your mind. The 'healthy for your body' part means with a partner with whom you feel comfortable communicating While it may sound counterintuitive, eyeing a stranger is one of the best ways to boost your libido after a long sex slump, says Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., author of The Good Girl's Guide To Bad
Benefits: An extra rush of blood to your partner's head to increase their ecstasy. Technique: Have your partner lie on their back with their legs raised over their head. This is not a plain Jane position! Squat over them and dip your penis in and out of them.
Be extra careful to thrust lightly to avoid stressing their neck-Kerner warns this position could potentially result in a neck injury. Also try: By removing yourself fully, you'll give your partner the extremely pleasurable feeling of you first entering them over and over again.
Hot tip: Novelty ignites passion by increasing your brain's levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter linked to romance and sex drive, says biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD. The Butter Churner qualifies for novelty, but you don't need to go to such extremes to sustain romance. Anything that's new and different will do the trick. Benefits: Erotic move for quickies in tight quarters.
Sex Position: The G-Whiz Also known as. Benefits. Technique. Your partner lies on their back. You kneel between their legs and raise them, resting their calves over Also try. Bring their legs down and have them place their feet on your st in front of your shoulders. This allows Having good sex requires knowing what you like in bed. The only way to fully understand your pleasure potential is to masturbate and explore your body. Masturbation is a healthy form of Good sex as you age is safe sex as you age As an older adult, you need to be just as careful as younger people when having sex with a new partner. You may not be able to get pregnant, but you're still susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases. Talk to your partner, and protect yourself
Good option for outdoor sex. Allows for easier penetration. Your partner has control of thrusting, depth, and angle.
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Technique: You stand facing one another. Your partner raises one of their legs up and wraps it around your buttocks or thigh and pulls you into them with their leg.
Also try: If that wrapped leg gets tired, cradle it with your arm.
If your mate's very flexible, lift their leg over your shoulder. Hot tip: Try this standing position in a hot shower. During the steamy foreplay, rub each other's entire body with a coarse salt scrub to stimulate nerve endings and blood flow.
Benefits: Good sex position for a quickie with deep penetration.
Technique: A variation of The Ballet Dancer in which your partner raises their legs up and wraps them around your butt or thighs. Your kitn counter is the perfect height for this standing-to-seated appetizer. Benefits: Good for an outdoors quickie, while still avoiding prying eyes. Technique: Another variation of The Ballet Dancer. Your partner's buoyancy in the water makes this sex position easier to hold.
And all you need to do is shift some bathing suit material out of the way of certain body parts; the lifeguards will be none the wiser. Benefits: Calorie burner because it's so athletic. You can stroll around the house in this position, but draw the shades first.
Technique: You enter your partner as you would in standing, rear entry, but lift them up by the pelvis and have them grip your waist with their legs. Summer camp wheelbarrow races were never this much fun! Also try: Ask them to rhythmically squeeze their PC muscles to help them climax. Benefits: Less strenuous than the standing varieties of this sex position, while still offering intense sensation.
Also try: Try the wheelbarrow while sitting on the edge of a bed or chair. Movement is limited, but penetration is deep. Hot tip: Make some noise.
Explore the deeper sexual response and energy by letting loose with powerful sounds, a roar, perhaps? Benefits: An ideal position for G-spot stimulation. Seeing the round curves of your partner's rear tends to be highly erotic for you. Technique: Stand and enter your partner from behind as they pose on all fours on the edge of the bed and arch their back to lift their buttocks.
Also try: With your legs outside of theirs, use your thighs to squeeze their knees together, which tightens their vagina around your penis. Technique: Slip into a bathroom and ask them to look into the mirror while you enter them from behind. It lets you have eye contact during the G-spot-targeting rear-entry sex position.
Benefits: Convenient for a quickie and adds spice outside the bedroom. Technique: Ask your partner to bend her body over the arm of a couch as you enter them from behind. They can grind on the firm but cushy arm for multiple stimulation with minimal effort.
Also try: Have them cross their ankles. This will squeeze their vaginal and gluteal muscles tightly around your penis. Benefits: Greater thrusting power, and good for quickie sex in your kitn, especially if your partner is wearing a skirt.
Technique: Ask them to bend at the waist and rest their hands on a piece of furniture, their knees or the floor for support. You enter them from behind and hold their hips for support as you thrust. Also try: Reach below to caress their clitoris for extra stimulation. Hot tip: Massage their shoulders or stimulate their breasts by bending over them.
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Benefits: Creates great eye-to-eye contact. Keeps your weight off her bod. Technique: There's a reason people swoon when they see a six pack.
They know a man with strong abs is going to be great in the sack. The mountain climber position shows off your strength and hard abs if you have them. While between your partner's legs, assume the standard "up" sex position.