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by Charyn Pfeuffer. Despite there being a healthy renaissance for butt play in recent years, backdoor entry is still a deal-breaker for many women - a no-way, no-how, entirely off-limits scenario. Still, more than a third of women Related story Vibrators We'd Recommend to All Our Friends. For some women, like me, anal sex can be a mind-blowing addition to the bedroom.

Come back to anal massage, having your partner take deep breaths, and try again in a few minutes.

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It can be tempting to speed up at this point but hold off on that. You can still do a lot with a single finger.

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You can keep your finger stiff and press outward from the center of the anus to gently massage in different directions. You can vibrate your hand to create a sensation like a vibrator.

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As your partner relaxes, they might be ready for a second or even a third finger. Slowly slide the first one out, get some lubricant on both fingers, and then slide back in.

Stimulating it will give you a little hint of what anal play can feel like. It responds well to firm pressure, so try using your middle finger to give it a massage while you masturbate. You can Oil- and silicone-based lubes are thicker and longer lasting, making them great for anal play. But oil-based lubes (like coconut oil) can break down condoms and render them less effective, so if The whole point of anal play is to keep it simple before working your way up. "To prepare a bottom for sex play, start with fingers, tongue, or a very small sex toy designed for butt play," says

Use the same anal fingering technique as before: curl the fingertips and slowly move back and forth to help the muscles stretch. Back off and go with a little less. And before I do, I want to hear you tell me you want it. Beg me for it. It might take a little practice to find out how much warm-up someone needs. Some people get there faster, some need a little more time. And if it turns out that they need to back off, no problem!

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Pull out and go back to using your fingers. You can always try again.

Tips for Anal Play

What are you waiting for? Share this:. Click on the questions below to scroll down to the answer: 1. What is anal fingering? Why do people love anal fingering? Are there any tips once I'm inside?

What Is Anal Fingering? Why Do People Love Anal Fingering? How Can I Convince My Partner to Try Anal Fingering? What Is the Best Lube for Anal Fingering?

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Anal Fingering Technique #1 Place your finger over their anus, as if you were doing the external stroking move. Slide your finger along the anus until your fingertip is over the opening. Bend your fingertip, so that it cats on the internal border of the external anal muscle, and A hot bath before anal play will help loosen tight muscles and increase blood flow to all your bits. Use bath time to give your erogenous zones a good rub-a-dub and show your anus some love while If you're brand new to anal play, I strongly suggest playing with a butt plug prior penetrative anal sex with a penis or strap-on dildo. (You can do this by yourself or with a partner.) It will get

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While sex toys such as prostate massagersbutt plugsand dildos can all stimulate the inside of one's behind, anal fingering can more directly hit the prostate or the internal clitoris through the rectum. But there's an art to anal fingering. Do that, and you're going to cause-or experience-a world of pain. Evan Golsteinfounder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical and The Future Method.

Here are their expert tips on positions and techniques that will help you finger like a pro. If your nails are long or jagged, you can accidentally scratch or tear the inner walls of the rectum.

How thoroughly you clean will depend on how much you plan to take. If you plan on taking multiple fingers, or are using anal fingering as foreplay for anal sex involving a dildo or penis, then you should consider cleaning your rectum with an enema, dou, or shower hose.

There are two traditional positions ideal for anal fingering. Lube is not optional when it comes to anal fingering.

Water-based lubes tend to dry out too quickly with anal play because the anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina is. You want to put lube both on your finger s and directly on and around the anus, Goldstein adds.

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Reapply lube generously and frequently as needed. This can happen when you thrust or insert too much too quickly.

If this is your first foray into anal play and stretching, starting small is a must even if you think you can handle more. If we're talking in fingers, start with a pinky. In toys, something Water-based lubes tend to dry out too quickly with anal play because the anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina is. You want to put lube both on your finger (s) and directly on and around the You don't really need anything other than lube to be able to explore anal play. You can use your fingers to pleasure and massage the rim of your anus, as well as explore some shallow penetration

This helps the anal muscles relax. Instead, begin by inserting a third of your finger, then half, and then all of it. Once your finger is fully inside, let it rest there for a little without any movement.

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Let the anus get used to the sensation of having something inside of it. And remember, the prostate is two to three ins inside your anus.

So you want to focus on that part of the region when fingering or getting fingered. Both Goldstein and Matatas make clear that there should be an open line of communication for the entire experience.

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